Self-Talk People Needlessly Share With The World
Back in the ’80s the self-help revolution was in full swing. By the early ’90s, these programs had taken up enough air-space that their self-talk messages had become fodder for comedians.
Yes, we all thought this narcissistic form of self-encouragement had long ago descended into the realm of the laughable cliché. So it’s surprising to see the current epidemic where self-affirmation has been retrieved from the dust-bin, emerging from the privacy of at-home mirror-talk, crudely encrypted into a flimsy, transparent code and blasted onto social media for all to see.
“So honored to be chosen as President of the National XXXX Society.”
De-coded: I’ve always known I was a natural leader and now they’ve finally recognized it.
“I’m back, stronger than ever!”
De-coded: I’m worried that, in the three or four minutes I’ve been off the grid, I might have lost a step. So, I’m using this to remind myself that I’m still amazing.
“In ten days, I will (choose one: walk, march, run, shave my head, etc.) in solidarity with ….”
De-coded: Here’s an opportunity to promote my own brand by jumping onto the coattails of these folks whose challenges seem to resonate with a significant portion of the public..
“I’m so sorry you feel that way.”
De-coded: Nobody is going to make me say I’m really sorry for what I’ve done! Ever! So I’ll use the word “sorry” in this twisted way that instead demeans the other person’s feelings about it.
“I wouldn’t be where I am today without all these great people on my team.”
De-coded: Look at me! I am in a very exalted place, indeed. So exalted that I have this entire kingdom of people over whom to rule.
“Humbled to be included in the list of Most Awesome Influencers.”
De-coded: I am so proud of this I have to find a sneaky way to brag about it.
What’s so bad about all this? Plenty. You’re using coded language on social media to transmit to the world messages you should be telling only yourself. And, in the process, you’re communicating that you care more about your own reputation than you do about the activity, the people you’re working with or the ones who are supposed to benefit from what you’ve done.
Next time you’re tempted to post something about an accomplishment, ask yourself about your motivation: Are you truly trying to inform, educate, entertain or persuade or are you just using social media to give yourself some positive self-talk that’s better left between you and your mirror?